Unbelievable! This treatment has really thrown me for a loop. The extra anti-nausea med that I was given on Tuesday really helped; I have not been sick and I have actually been able to eat. This is the first time Lorene and Sylvia have not had to force me to eat. So that part is good but the fatigue is much worse than before – I have slept almost continuously since Thursday.
Walking from one room to the next really becomes a chore. For someone like me who has always been fairly active, this feeling is very disconcerting. I have run a marathon, completed a half-ironman and participated in hundreds of other running and biking events, so to be out of breath after walking from one room to the next is a little unsettling. My legs get weak, I feel light headed, I have a hard time catching my breath, and all I really want to do is sit down. Just typing this is hard because my arms are so fatigued. Needless to say, I am physically tired, but mentally I am also so tired of feeling this way. I know this is just the process, but it is getting harder each time.
To tell you the truth, I do not even know where my armor is today. I came home from chemo, threw it off, and have been raw and exposed ever since. It is probably laying crumpled in a corner somewhere and will need lots of tending to before the next battle. Armor is good for battle but sometimes it is good to be uncovered and exposed. It is during these times that I am reminded of how much love and support surrounds me. That is what gives me the strength for the next battle, the next time the armor must be worn to face this faceless enemy.
While I am going through this journey, I have met another warrior who has Stage IV breast cancer. It is scary to even write those words, much less think about what it must feel like to be facing that diagnosis. I am brought to tears almost every time I think about it. She is alone, without the support of family and friends. She is on an experimental drug – one last chance, and the thought scares me to death.
I feel truly blessed not only because I caught this cancer early, but also because I have all of you. It is a comfort and a blessing. I will fight on – I will not let you down. But as you are holding me up and sending good thoughts my way, please pray for everyone else who is facing this demon.
Love you all.
Dance of a Warrior 
I so remember that feeling like I needed to get up and do something and the thought was exhausting, let alone getting up to do it. This too shall pass Melissa it does take time and patience (which I had little of) especially when I was done with the last chemo in my mind it was over so I thought I should just be able to start doing again. I was with Mary & Liz this weekend in Lake Tahoe for her granddaughter Amber 12th b-day & softball tournament. We are all sending positive thoughts loads & loads of love & especially great big hugs. LOVE YOU BUNCHES from all of us!!
Am thinking about you my special friend and sending you lots of love and healing strength. You are truly a warrior and the fact that you are a fighter and physically fit is what is helping you to get through this. Just relax and rest and get through this phase. Your body needs time to heal and repair after all of this. You will be back to the super women you were before soon enough. I told my doctors that they could have a year of my life and no more, I had horses to ride and things to do, so to give it their best shot. This too shall pass. Your life will never be the same of course, but you will be much stronger for it and you will realize that some of the things that we worry about are just not worth the time it takes to worry. You tend to enjoy the rainbows and sunsets a lot more. Love ya Kiddo!
MaryDee,
Thanks so much. That is exactly how I feel – just trying to get through this year. Then back to my life. It is comforting to hear your experience – thanks for being willing to share. Love ya.