Okay, so I have waited about as long as I can stand to without writing.  The weekends are always tough for me and this one is no different.  It is easy for me to hide from life and myself, but writing changes all of that; writing makes me be honest with myself.  Sometimes it is easier to hide, but for me it is not healthy. So I write.

It is on the weekends that my mind drifts to the last relationship I was in and I try to make sense of the whole mess.  I try to understand what happened and why, but it still makes no sense and I feel alone.  With chemo on Tuesday I know the week ahead will be rough, so I try to concentrate on getting ready for battle. But I feel the most vulnerable right now. The armor is off and the thought of putting it back on this week is difficult.  The armor is getting heavier and the battles seem to come too close together. But come Tuesday morning I will be ready.  Head held high – armor polished and in great repair – spirits will be good so I can fight another round.  I will be ready. Bring it!

The start of the weekend was pretty eventful.  It seems like it has been raining here for weeks.  I don’t mean a little drizzle every now and then – I mean RAIN!  Crazy rain!  I have a small pond in front of my house that I enjoy quite a bit.  I love sitting on the front porch watching the turtles, fish, and dragonflies and listening to the frogs.  But with all this rain, the pond is starting to overflow its banks. My driveway goes across the top of the dam and some of my friends are a little freaked out with so much water on the roadway.  I try to keep an eye on the drain to make sure it is clear and that water is flowing during times like these.

After work on Friday, I was driving across the dam and checked the drain.  I thought, “What the hell? . . . Is that a small alligator tail sticking out of the drain?”  I drove to the house and waited for the rain to slack up.  As soon as I could I walked down the drive and looked. It wasn’t an alligator but a snapping turtle, head down in the drain.  I could not believe it. I knew it was dead and that broke my heart, but I had to get the damn thing out of there. It was plugging up the hole.

I called my friend Kim and explained the situation. The same thing happened at their pond but she could not remember how they got it out. Kim wasn’t sure what to do so I called for backup, and soon Lorene was on her way with a long, hooked stick. I met her in the driveway with a pitchfork. I had no idea how to get the thing out of there but I knew I would need to get in the pond.

I look at Lorene and asked, “Do you think you should tie a rope around me?” She looked at me like I was crazy.  I don’t think she was willing to attach herself to this crazy baldheaded woman and risk being pulled into the pond right along with me.

So I grabbed my pitchfork and put it as close to the drain as possible. Okay, the water will not be over my head – that’s good.  I turn around and say, “I need to get into the pond. Do you think I should take off my boots and jeans?”  Again, Lorene looks at me like she cannot believe what she is hearing and says, “I don’t think that is such a good idea.  Just what your neighbors need: to see you with your bald head in your underwear carrying a dead turtle.”

Okay, boots and jeans stay on. I take the step and reach for the turtle. Then the girl in me comes out. “I don’t want to touch it,” I say.  But the biologist in me says, “Wow – what I great shell!” So I grab the damn snapping turtle and pull him out of the drain. He is heavier than I expected and I am off balance.  I step backwards to the bank and my foot slips.

Now I am on my ass sliding into the water, and the harder I try to get up, the more I keep slipping and sliding back into the pond. I am in the poison ivy and briars but I cannot let go of the turtle now because I want the shell. I am cussing, kicking and pulling myself up the bank. I’m not sure but I think I hear Lorene laughing. I’m just thankful she didn’t think to videotape the whole thing. I am finally back on my feet and on the driveway. And now I am just sick about this poor guy.

You might remember that I wrote a post about a nasty-ass snapping turtle. Lorene was involved in that crazy adventure also.  That one had a good ending: We saved the turtle and we still feel good about it.  This time we had a different outcome – a funny story but a sad ending.

I want to live my life so that it is filled with fun stories and great adventures, but I realize that along with all the good stuff comes the bad stuff also.  Sometimes there are happy endings, sometimes not.  But that is life, right?  We never know from one moment to the next what is going to happen.  I am glad I don’t know how my story ends – I like the adventure and unfolding of things.  This has been a rough year for me so far, but I have learned so much and I would not change one thing about it.  So I would like to thank all of you who are reading this and supporting me.  I love you. Life is a mystery.