I have to tell you about an amazing thing that happened to me this week. I shop at Publix on the east side of town and I usually hit the store once or twice a week. The staff seems to have a very low turnover rate and most of the same friendly people have been there since it opened several years ago. Since Athens isn’t a huge town, I guess the employees recognize some of the regular shoppers. And of course, you know me – I always have to smile and speak to each one of them I see while shopping and checking out.

When I felt up to it during chemo and radiation, I kept to my usual routines. So I still stopped at the store on the way home from work or a doctor’s appointment – but now sporting a bald head. One day I went to Publix wearing a baseball cap; strangely, I felt more self-conscious wearing the hat than just going in there with my baldness. I don’t know – maybe the baldness gave me more courage. I know it definitely made the cancer more real to me.

So this Monday I made my Publix run on the way home from work. My hair is coming back in at a rather surprising rate, so I am wearing it spiked up like a flat-top. I like it and most of my friends seem to like it. I finished my shopping and made it to the checkout. I recognized the clerk and we exchanged greetings. While she was ringing up my groceries, she looked at me and said, “Your hair is coming back in fast.”

I was a little surprised that someone I don’t really know would even notice. She asked how I was feeling and if I was finished with treatment. She also wanted to know if I had worn a bandana over my head when I was shopping; I told her, “No, I just sported the bald head.” She responded, “I thought that was you.” She told me how brave and courageous she thought I was. Her mother died of breast cancer and the loss of her hair was a very traumatic experience for her mother. The clerk told me she’d had a double mastectomy because she feared the breast cancer that killed her mother might be genetic.

After she rang up my last item she said, “I have to give you a hug.” We hugged and as I turned to walk away she said, “You might not realize it, but every time you were in here you had a smile on your face.” You will never know how that exchange made me feel. A complete stranger noticing me, supporting me, and encouraging me.

We never know from moment to moment how our behavior affects the people we come into contact with every day. Just smiling and speaking to people as I shop for groceries makes a difference. I try to really look at everyone I meet – to look them in the eye, acknowledge their humanity, and say hello. We are all the same: rich, poor, black, white, brown, republican, democrat, conservative, liberal, straight, gay, bi or trans. We are the same. We long to be connected in this crazy world that forces us to be different by giving us labels. I long to drop these labels and just see others as my human family, each one of us struggling with our demons and striving to make our way.

We all have our stories to tell. I am learning that by being willing to tell mine, others are willing to share their stories with me. That is a true treasure – a cherished treasure. Thank you, my friends.